What is important in life? Is it the high-priced items found nationwide with a designer label or a high-tech system of electronics? Or is it those everyday moments that we take for granted? The moments that make you laugh until you have a stomach ache or a relaxing day at the beach with your family. Today many people are too worried about pricey items that they forget to cherish the time right now before it’s too late.
The temperature is at its freezing point. I grab my hoodie and sweat pants to conceal my body heat. I step into my fleece socks. The warmth is penetrating my skin resuming heat to my feet little by little. A fluffy pillow is propped up under my head. My feet are stretched out across the comfy couch. I can hear the low humming of the weather on channel five. “There is a chance of snow for tonight’s forecast.” I glance out the translucent, perfect glass windows hoping to see the white flurries marching onto the battlefield. I’m in luck; they fall gracefully swinging down to the ground finally settling onto the grass.
Suddenly an inaudible whistling sound is heard. Then with every second, increases its audibility. My mom’s making hot chocolate. I dance to my feet so I’m the first in line to recieve my hot chocolate. I stroll into the kitchen to meet my soothing drink. I can see the cloud of steam hovering over my mug. My mom adds cool crème to the scalding hot chocolate. It’s topped off with a light and fluffy whipped topping, a mouthwatering sight. I take the cup by the handle back to my comfortable abode on the couch. I ressume the same position on the couch to absorb the maximum level of relaxation on the perfect winter night.
I wake up that morning. Everything is right with the world. Today is my birthday and I know my family is well aware of it. I've been counting down the days until April 19th. I've told my parents and syblings, all that I wanted this time was a new, sharp looking ipod classic. I made it very clear how anxious I was to recieve it for my birthday. I made my way down stairs and kept my eyes open for any colored birthday bags. Nothing. I couldn't find any bags anywhere.
I waited for dinner time. I was surely to recieve my long, awaited birthday gift now. I Finally saw my mom bring in the small colorful bag with curly strings dangling off to the side. I grabbed the bag faster than the speed of light. I threw out the tissue paper and took out a rectangular hard box. It was the best present in the world. I held my new ipod classic in the palm of my hand. I was thrilled to finally have the best ipod.
My sleek, black glazed ipod is now never off. My ipod classic is bigger, better, and mine. The latest in technology ipod has improved holding a whopping 30,000 songs, 150 hours of video and 25,000 pictures. This ipod can store about 120 gigabytes of material. I take it everywhere. I can control my music at my fingertips. I roll my fingers around in the circle choosing the right song for my mood. Finally I scroll down to shuffle and let it do all the work.
My perfect winter night and ipod are both valuable to me. They are similar because they both affect my mood in a relaxing comfortable way. When I’m at home on the couch drinking my hot chocolate on a snowy night I have no worry in the world just to sit and try not to burn my tongue on the hot liquid. My ipod helps me to mellow out too. Depending on what type of mood I’m in, I can always change it with the touch of a button.
Although they are similar they are also very different. My relaxing moment is quiet and soothing and allows me some time to myself where I can just relax forget all the tension in the world and watch the snow fall. My ipod, on the other hand, allows me to match my mood with my music. When I’m in an upbeat mood I usually put on a fast song by my favorite pop artist. Or if I’m in an angst type of mood I listen to alternative music. This way I can just get all my energy out by singing to the songs I love to listen to.
As you can see, the value of things in life are hard to rate. Something is not always valuable because it is highly priced. Sometimes the best things in life are everyday activities, in this case the first snow of the winter. In my opinion, I would pick relaxing on the couch with my hot chocolate moment instead of electronics any day.
2 comments:
I really enjoyed reading Hannah’s essay. What Hannah truly values is both her ipod and the first snowfall. I think Hannah is trying to say that value is hard to rate, and she is asking what we find most important to us.
I thought Hannah described the first snowfall very well. She went into detail from the moment she hears that there might be a snowfall and to the moment she gets her hot chocolate and relaxes as she watches the snowfall to the ground. Her word choice is very good as well. She uses many detailed verbs and adjectives to describe her moment.
I think overall this is a very good essay. The strong points were her word choice and organization. The paper seemed to flow well and she a very descriptive words.
The only suggestion I have is maybe try to describe your ipod more. You have two really well written paragraphs for you snowfall, and then only one paragraph for you ipod. This was a really great essay! Good job!
Hannah makes it very clear that her opinion is that you should cherish the moments and ideas that you can not purchase. I think she is asking the question of whether priced items or priceless items are more valuable, not only answering herself, but asking us as well. She is strong about her opinion of not taking for granted the moments we can't purchase.
I thought Hannah's description of her perfect winter night was very descriptive and enjoyable. She effectively uses simile's and unique verbs to enhance her picture of the winter night. I liked the part when Hannah Was runs to get her hot chocolate. I could picture the drink on the counter. I also liked how she compares the snowfall to a battlefield. THe line i liked in this paragraph was, "I glance out the translucent, perfect glass windows hoping to see the white flurries marching onto the battlefield."
A strong point in Hannahs essay is her description. She uses effective present tense verbs throughout the story. Hannah uses great comparisons, similes, and adjectives to give you a clear picture of what shes describing.
I agree with jenny in that you should describe a present tense memory with your ipod, and add to the description. Your winter night memory has much more description, and i know you could do the same with your ipod!
I enjoyed this essay, and i thought you did a very good job in describing an item you dont actually own. :)
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